Pushing Body Image Struggles Aside to Embrace Life’s Adventures

Those who know me best will tell you that I embrace life’s adventures. I’ve tagged crocodiles in Belize, hung out in a brothel in Guatemala, fished for piranhas in Peru, and even drank a shot of whiskey and kissed a petrified human toe to be inducted into the Sour Toe Cocktail club…a Yukon Territory tradition.

I’m also a hiker. Someone who hits the trails with my uber-fit husband (nine years my junior) to embrace all that nature has to offer. As you read this description, I can’t help but wonder how you would picture me. Perhaps, if you’ve never met me, you’d assume I’m fit and ready for anything. Well, if that’s your perception of me, you’re wrong. Although I may exude confidence on the outside, on the inside I struggle with self-doubt and body image every single day.

Life as a Chubby Kid

Growing up I was always a chubby kid. Despite that, I ventured out every day to ride bikes and swim with friends. When teams were chosen during gym class at school, surprisingly I wasn’t at the bottom of the list. Fortunately, my personality moved me up in the pick – even if I missed almost every ball I attempted to volley. At one point, I developed enough confidence to join a girls’ softball team. After one practice, I quickly realized that wasn’t for me – those girls were seriously competitive!

I carried my self-doubts and body image struggles into adulthood – keeping them hidden inside so friends and co-workers wouldn’t notice my lack of confidence. The self-doubt ultimately led to weight gain that limited my abilities even more. I knew something had to change.

A Life-Changing Choice

At age 39 I decided to have weight loss surgery. At the time, my two children were teenagers. Despite my concerns about something going awry during the surgical procedure or the possibility of developing complications, I chose to go forward with my plan. As a result, I lost over 100 pounds and my life changed forever.

Just to be clear, losing 100 pounds didn’t make me thin. It simply made me a healthier version of myself. I’m only 5’2” tall and as I speed toward my 64th birthday, I keep holding on to every inch of height that remains. Meanwhile, my body holds on to its bottom-heavy shape making the aforementioned hiking trips a continuous challenge.

Embracing Adventure Despite Self-Doubt

Today, when I venture onto the hiking trails, I do it with hiking poles in my daypack in case I need extra support. I also take far more photos than necessary just to get a break and catch my breath. Often, fit younger hikers will smile and nod in approval of my efforts.

One afternoon as I tackled a particularly challenging rock scramble, a young woman passed me. She stopped on the other side of the rocks and turned to me saying, “I’m so impressed. My grandmother would never try anything like this!”

While I knew she meant that as a compliment my first thought was, “How dare that girl assume I’m a grandmother!” Truth is, I am a grandmother of three amazing teenagers. Her assumption was spot on.

Overcoming self-doubt and making peace with my age and body image continues to be a struggle. But I refuse to let that keep me from embracing life’s adventures – especially while traveling. It was that determination that led me to spend an afternoon in a German spa mingling with strangers wearing nothing but my birthday suit!

It Wasn’t Random Nudity – In Case You’re Wondering

We’re all familiar with the saying, “When in Rome, do as the Romans.” The same holds for Baden-Baden. Located in the foothills of Germany’s Black Forest, Baden-Baden is known for its elegant hotels, sophisticated lifestyle, health spas, and mineral-thermal baths. The most famous spa is Friedrichsbad – a traditional clothing-free spa. To experience the true Baden-Baden bathing experience, the clothes had to come off.

At its opening in 1877, Friedrichsbad was dubbed a “temple of well-being” and considered the most modern bathing establishment in Europe. The lavishly decorated Neo-Classical structure hosted numerous Roman emperors, soldiers recovering from injuries, and Mark Twain. Obviously more comfortable with nudity than me, Twain once said, “Here at the Friedrichsbad you lose track of time within 10 minutes and track of the world within 20.” Um, I never quit watching the clock.

Comprised of 17 stations, Friedrichsbad’s Roman-Irish bathing experience features a sequence of warm and hot dry air baths, a soap and brush massage, steam baths, thermal showers, and thermal pools. I checked in at the reception desk with my traveling cohort, Vanessa, and signed up for the works. It was here that we were informed we had arrived on a co-ed day.

Showers, Saunas and Steam Rooms, Oh My!

We entered the locker room where several men and women were wandering about in various stages of undress. Averting our eyes from the gentleman who was wearing his dress shirt and tie without anything on the bottom half of his body, we located our lockers and began to undress. Inside the locker, I discovered a ray of hope – a large sheet for use as a towel. I couldn’t wrap that blessing around me fast enough.

My glee quickly vanished at the first station – a room full of showers with no curtains. The sheet assumed a place on a hook as I waddled off on my naked way alone. Well, not alone, there were plenty of other naked bodies to keep me company.

Stations two and three were saunas with reclining cedar chaise lounges. Vanessa and I stretched ourselves out on two of them alongside several couples who were thrilled to be there on co-ed day for some quality naked togetherness. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe my thoughts.

From the dry hot saunas, we ventured into the first of several steam rooms and settled in on the ancient tiles to await the call for our body brushing and massages.

I must admit I was looking forward to the body brushing and massage. Of course, I was picturing a private massage room. Not a chance. Vanessa and I were called for our treatments together. Our male attendants directed us to marble tables situated in the middle of a room with passageways for other spa guests to walk by as we lay naked on full display — my worst nightmare.

What I Learned While Walking Around Naked with Strangers

While I can’t say this was the most comfortable experience in my travels, it ranks as one of the most enlightening. Am I happy I had this experience? Yes, absolutely. Did I learn anything? Yes, no one cares if you’re walking around with an imperfect body. Will I let my body image stand in the way of future adventures? I hope not. I once chose not to do the polar plunge off an exhibition ship in Antarctica because I would have been photographed in my swimsuit. I’ll always regret that and if I do return to Antarctica, I’ll be the first one jumping in the icy water.

The moral of the story? We all have insecurities – even those much younger and fitter than me. But letting those insecurities keep us from embracing life’s adventures is the worst thing we can do…even if we have to jiggle a bit along the way!

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